One Monk's Journey Through Faith

1. My mother just got back home from the hospital on Tuesday. The sleeve gastrectomy went reasonably well. They had trouble keeping her blood pressure high enough, so it wasn't smooth sailing, but they did successfully complete the operation. The tube they stuck down her throat may have hurt one of her teeth, but that's the only (lasting) complication we know of. I am relieved she is well.

2. My best friend Robbie's sister, Jessica Miller, was in a car crash a few weeks ago and was hospitalized. According to the caringbridge journal:

We got the results from Jessica's MRI [Tuesday]... She has significant brain damage. With the amount of brain damage she has it is impossible for her to recover from this.... We don't know how much longer she has to live, but the remainder of it will be spent at home. Jessica is going to be a Hospice patient and will be getting cared for at home to be as comfortable as possible for however longer she has left. This will also make it easier for her family and friends to visit her.

A later entry elaborates that her brain functions as that of a newborn in that she can blink and breathe without conscious thought, but she is unable to consciously control her basic functions. Currently there is no medical treatment to prevent this condition from degrading further, so family and friends are packed to visit her around the clock. And God bless the hospice nurses, too.

I talked to Robbie on the phone for several hours on Saturday. It was so great to catch up! He is doing well, all things considered.

3. My friend who did commit suicide recently, Ellie, will be missed. I talked to her sister Vanessa on Saturday also, and their family is doing OK.

4. M is feeling better emotionally, but she's not made any progress toward having a more social lifestyle. If you know depression, you know the feeling: everyone else's life is on "play" but your life is on "pause." That's how I described it, once upon a time. I'm just glad she's alive. I was so shocked and I felt so powerless and scared, that hour and a half on the phone with her. Having lost one friend recently, I didn't want to lose another. I cannot take credit for talking her out of suicide, but by God's grace, she is alive and (reasonably) well. I got a few friends of mine in Oklahoma to call her and keep her company.

5. As for my financial/academic situation, it's complicated. I do not know when I will be able to return to school. I've had far too much going on this past 6 weeks to worry about getting finances straightened out. So, I've decided to drop out of the running for Abilene Christian University this fall.

However, my stepfather just started a job (after a year unemployed) at the University of North Texas. Since he works in their financial dept, I'm eligible for one free semester. However, since I'm already 24, I only have this summer and this fall to choose from. I think I'll apply for summer and take basics, then move to Oklahoma hopefully in the fall.

During the past few weeks, I have prayed like never before. I have also learned that "mixing bread with tears" means "often refusing food at mealtime and crying uncontrollably instead." What a painful lesson. But God has gotten me through this and worse. And I will make it back to school and finish my degree. I have what it takes to be part of the biblical studies guild, and with good tutelage, I will be an excellent and durable vessel for God to work through. All I want to do is write, read, study, and teach. And encourage. Someday soon, I will be doing those things for the Kingdom.